Here is my entry for the fanart contest.
I would like to enter for the book prize.
For best results. Don't view with firefox.
There are a few of the visual effects that firefox does not show correctly and I was unable to figure out how to fix that in the time frame. There are no issues with any other browsers as far as I have seen.
On an unrelated note,
Here is a plain text version just in case there is difficulty in reading the pdf
Often in my dreams I hear someone calling to me. The voice cries out as I run begging and pleading for me to wait, to not leave whoever it is behind. I can’t help but feel that I ignored the voice, I let her down somehow I think that the dreams have something to do with my lost memories. Many times I asked Ryozo if that could be possible but he only brushed it off and told me that I shouldn’t worry myself about them. I think he fears that my already fragile health will worsen if he tells me what happened all those years ago. Any time I speak of my past he refuses to answer. But I keep hearing that voice in my dreams, and somehow it makes me sad. Maybe by writing about this I can find some of the memories locked inside my own mind.
We have finally moved in to the Himuro mansion. Ryozo hopes that the mountain air will be good for my health, and he can also continue his research undisturbed. Mikoto seemed excited since she has already gone off to explore. This makes me nervous; something about this house feels familiar, I would prefer it if she stayed close for the time being. I am sure that I am just uneasy about the new environment though. She will be fine.
The dreams have started again. I hear the pleading voice every night now, ever since we moved to the mansion. I have had this problem before, but it was years ago. Ryozo found me in the woods that day. He told me that I was crying and apologizing though he would never tell me why. Back then, I often felt like a part of me was missing as if I had lost an arm or a leg even though I am whole. This feeling persisted for a long time until well after Ryozo and I married. In fact, it wasn’t until Mikoto was born that the feeling of loss stopped plaguing me. Now that Mikoto is often off on her own or with friends playing I am left alone while Ryozo searches the mansion for artifacts and documents. I feel incomplete again and sometimes it seems like this loss is trying to swallow me whole.
This morning I woke with an apology still on my lips. Who am I apologizing too? What am I apologizing for? I can only imagine that it has something to do with the voice that haunts my dreams every night. Even though I cannot remember it I feel a sense of guilt that refuses to go away.
Mikoto has made so many new friends. It makes me happy to see her playing so cheerfully with the other children. I watch them when I can but even though I am doing much better now, there are days when I still have problems with the size of the mansion. It is difficult to keep up with the young ones as they run about and even more so when they find the tinniest of hiding spaces for their games. The mansion still makes me nervous but Ryozo is sure that I am just imagining things. I know I have never been to this place before but there is a feeling that seems similar to one that I must have been very familiar with. It is a sense of sadness and loss that cuts to the bone. Could it be that this mansion has something in common with the home I cannot remember?
While she was playing demon tag with her friends again, Mikoto found a strange camera. She seemed excited when she showed it to us but something seems odd about this camera. We took it from her for now. I need to be certain that it is safe for her to have before I give it back to her something about it just isn’t right. I will take some pictures with the camera and see what happens from there. I am probably just worrying over nothing; after all it is only a camera.
I have been taking the camera everywhere with me recently. The things it shows me don’t seem possible. It’s as if I am seeing ghost through the lens. I need to understand this camera’s power. Perhaps with this camera I can find the answers that I have been searching for all along. Even if I find nothing I cannot give the camera back to Mikoto, it is too dangerous for her. She was pleading with me to let her have it again today. This makes me worry that maybe this camera has some sort of a hold on my daughter.
The more pictures I take with this camera the more of them I see. They are everywhere! This mansion is filled with things, horrible things that I couldn’t see without the camera’s aid. Ryozo suggested that I leave the camera alone as it seems to be upsetting me. I can’t just leave it alone though. I can feel it; something terrible is going to happen, but maybe if I have this camera I will be able to see it coming.
My health has become fragile again. It was only a few days ago that I was walking happily along with my husband and daughter and now I feel worse than I did even before we came to this place. I had to spend most of the other day in bed and today I will have to remain there as well. Ryozo is worried, though that doesn’t keep him from his research. I put the camera away; I couldn’t find anything connected to my past while using it. I wish I had left the camera alone. I cannot pretend I don’t know what is here. I worry about Mikoto but at least I kept the camera from her. She won’t have to see them.
I can still see them. At first I thought it was a trick of the light but I can see them. They took Mikoto I know they did. It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t kept that camera, if I had kept a closer watch on her she would be here with me.
All my fault. All my fault. Where is my daughter? Why didn’t I throw that camera away?
It’s just like last time, all my fault. I’m sorry I’m sorry.
I want to go back. I tried to find you I’m sorry.
They won’t give me back my daughter! I can see them but they won’t listen to me they won’t give her back. I can see them!
The laughing I can hear it. I can hear her laughing in the village.
We promised we would always be together. I’m so sorry I’m sorry.
Itsuki, I’m sorry.
I have to go back I can’t just leave her there. I can’t find the way back, where is the village? Where did it go?
Sae I’m sorry, I left you alone. Is this my punishment? Is that why they took Mikoto? Everything is my fault, all my fault. I’m so sorry. I’m coming for you soon.